“Purpose is the essential element of you. It is the reason you are on the planet at this particular time in history. Your very existence is wrapped up in the things you are here to fulfill.” – Chadwick Boseman
The perpetual quest for
purpose is an endless tedious pursuit, that consumes us from the moment we set
foot into this mundane world. Its concept and ideas, are often discussed and
imparted to us at various tenets of our lives, ranging from early childhood to
our early twenties, and is often wrapped up and tied to the notions of identity
and meaning. Purpose is how we comprehend our place in the world, as well as
the means through which we seek to gauge an understanding of why we are here at
this particular time, how we may use this time effectively, and meaningfully
live our assigned life to the fullest.
Picture
this: a bunch of individuals are randomly selected and casually placed all over
a planet called Earth. Each of them are aware that their stay is limited,
although they are unaware as to when it would expire. They are surrounded by
suffering and horrifying events that scar them, and question the brutal nature
of humanity. From family, friends, colleagues, to the limitations and the
susceptibility of their body to diseases, they are enclosed in a cycle of both
physical and mental suffering, wreaked upon them and the rest of the world,
with no explanation for its presence, as well as our existence.
This type of situation
inevitably leads to a realization of our material, mundane insignificance, in
relation to the vast significant nature of the cosmos, which in turn results
into a vicious downward spiral of manifested existential crises, due to the
incomprehensibility of our existence. The notion of serving a greater purpose,
being part of a larger scheme of things, along with the assumption that our
presence and actions have some great cosmic meaning behind them is developed as
a coping mechanism. Classic phrases such as ‘everything
happens for a reason’, come into play to soften the blow of that
realization, and a sense of purpose is attached to every incident and action, in
order to add meaning to our state of existence. After all, our will to live
significantly diminishes when we realize that there is no meaning in life, if
nothing we do or experience, matter in the greater scheme of things.
The problem with placing
our life’s focus in either seeking or achieving a sense of purpose, as a coping
mechanism to our limited existence, is that purpose, like everything else is
temporary and inconsistent. When we place our faith and focus on such states, it
can negatively impact our quality of life, regardless of whether the purpose is
fulfilled or not.
This impact can be
explored through an illustration of two events.
The
first instance revolves around an
individual whose sole purpose is to become one of the leading actresses in the
film industry, and earn millions along with recognition for her craft. She
quits college in pursuit of her passion, and finally after struggling to
establish herself she earns worldwide recognition.
However,
while she was prepared to be a full time actress, and forfeit her privacy to be
a face of the public, she also encounters a lot of biases and negative
attention. Additionally, she finds that acting in movies no longer invokes the
same zeal, passion and joy that once drove her. The hectic schedules appear to
be monotonous, and the fanatical behavior of the fans and the general public
which once thrilled her, has now been transformed into a source of anxiety and
extreme discomfort. All the recognition and money obtained from years of hard
work, sacrifice and dedication seem meaningless when viewed in retrospect, and
the actress now enters into a state of hopelessness, dejection, and
frustration.
The
second instance deals with a
passionate writer who is struggling to get her first publication. This
individual also driven by passion and purpose, has dedicated years of study to
the craft of writing, has taken up numerous writing courses, studied
literature, as well as published numerous blogs and creative pieces on numerous
forums. Additionally, the book that she is attempting to publish has taken her
nearly four years to complete, because of the excess research and study
dedicated to perfecting her work. Each trip to a publisher has only been met
with harsh criticism and blatant rejection. Writing is her passion, a craft she
has been honing and improving since her teenage years, only to result in no one
willing to give her book a chance to be read. Gradually, the writer descends
into a state of absolute dejection and frustration at the lack of opportunities
present.
Both instances involve
two artists driven by passion to achieve their sole purpose, which is
recognition for their craft. The actress having fulfilled her purpose is
frustrated because all her success and recognition now appear to be meaningless
once it was finally achieved. The writer on the other hand, is equally
frustrated due to the inability and lack of opportunities that are a barrier in
fulfilling her purpose. The above two individuals highlight how the devotion to
purpose results in feelings of inadequacy and frustration, irrespective of the it
being fulfilled or not. When purpose is tied to identity and treated as a goal
that needs to be achieved, its impact on one’s state of being is negative and detrimental.
The link between identity
and purpose is detrimental, as both facets are extremely fluid in nature, and
completely independent of each other. Numerous accounts of individuals who have
embarked upon various journeys and endeavors in the pursuit of attempting to
unravel ‘who they are’ (i.e. discover
their identity), and ‘what it is they are
meant to do’ (the search for purpose), have been recounted.
The irony of such a
pursuit lies in the fact that identity comprises of a collection of abstract
notions bound together, and thus cannot be unraveled or ‘discovered’ by simply
travelling or embarking upon certain endeavors. Furthermore, as stated
previously both facets are independent and do not equate the other. Identity is
not wrapped up in purpose, and treating it as such results in an inability to
function without purpose. This becomes problematic, as it disrupts our quality
of life, leading to a state of hopelessness and frustration, as depicted
through the above two illustrated events. When we feel that the lack of purpose
distorts our identity, and cripples our ability to experience an enriching and
fulfilling life, we operate under a mentality reflective of what could be
termed as ‘self-imposed slavery’, simply due to the inability to fathom a life
devoid of purpose.
At this point, we have
established that the search for purpose is a futile endeavor, and the
association that identity is wrapped up in purpose, is a detrimental notion
that hinders a stable mentality, and results in an impairment of our quality of
life. We have also exhibited how purpose adds fuel to our being, without which
our will to live is imminently compromised.
Thereby, in order to
achieve some form of resolution, two significant facets must be explored and
discussed in order to formulate a solution that will provide some sense of
closure, or at least divulge some understanding, to avoid falling into the pit
of existential crises.
If purpose is the driving
force behind individuals, then the abolishment of such an ideal would
inherently be absurd and impractical. Furthermore, if the complete surrender to
purpose, to the extent that identity becomes an inherent part of it, is
reflective of slave mentality, then one would first have to establish what it
takes to be a ‘free individual’.
As mentioned previously,
the notion of identity is a composition of layers filled with abstract ideals
tightly bound together. When tackling the notion of identity, the lens of
Buddhism proves to be the most appropriate approach for such a task. Buddhism
encourages detachment and the art of letting go, and even argues that our
concept of ‘self’ is simply based on a mental construction, that our entire
life is spent trying to free ourselves from, which in reality, entraps
individuals more than providing some sense of identity and closure.
All our lives, we have
been surrounded with various platforms and communities that encourage us to
discover our identity. Various philosophers stated that the purpose of each
individual during their lifetime, is to uncover their identity and discover who
they truly are, and declare that an unexamined life is a life not worth
living. Hence, such phrases such as
Socrates’s ‘know thyself’ have been
transformed into everyday proverbial wisdom. Often primary school teachers have
subjected their young pupils to the very question that takes a lifetime to
answer, and still remains inconclusive up to date, by handing their pupils the
dreaded and most absurd essay topic famously titled ‘Who Am I’.
Yet Buddhism on the other
hand, denounces such pursuits and is more concerned with the layers of abstract
and material ideals that form our mental construction, and encourages us to
break free from such concepts through a gradual process of detachment. Most
often the word ‘detachment’ has been used synonymously with the term
‘indifference’, therefore prior to the exploration of the path of detachment,
the distinction between the two terms must be clarified, and shall be done
through illustrated events.
Picture
a lake. It is filled with images of the trees and the vast blue sky, coupled
with the occasional flocks of birds that traverse the sky, the insects that
perch on the banks, as well as the humans that stroll pass, and take a moment
to peer into its depths. These images are all been reflected in the still water of the
lake. Now imagine that a person comes by and flings a couple of pebbles in to
the lake. As we all know, such an act temporarily disrupts the stillness of the
water, causing a surge of ripples across the surface, before resuming its
motionless state.
If we take the lake as a
metaphor for the human mind, every experience, incident and feeling should
ideally be observed from a distance with a calm objective mindset as much as
possible. Just like how the lake reflects its surroundings but does not absorb
anything, the mind should observe each incident and feeling, without getting
affected by what it sees or experiences. Additionally, when individuals come
and throw pebbles, which is an allusion to the disruptive forces, that most
often arrive in the form of difficult people, represents how their forces could
disrupt the peace and tranquility of our mind. However, once the ripples of
disruption pass, our minds should resume its stillness. This is called
detachment: when the forces of the world cannot penetrate but can be reflected
and observed as distant images, and the individual remains unaffected by its
forces in the face of it all.
Now
envision a scenario where an individual remains completely unfazed and
untouched by anything: a man completely devoid of the ability to feel anything,
witnessing the death of a family member, feels no different than watching your child
win an achievement award. The individual is unable to experience or exhibit any
sign of remorse, joy, frustration, or even a hint of embarrassment.
Often at some point of
our lives, each of us have desperately wished that we could cast off this exasperating
inbuilt device known as emotion, and be free from its influence, which is known
to cause more pain than joy, in a world rampant with suffering. However, lack
of emotion upsets the equilibrium of the mental state, as its absence results
in the inability to experience feelings, which not only hinders the ability to
express emotion, but thwarts the ability to maintain good relationships, as one
would be unable to comprehend the feelings of others and act accordingly.
An individual who cannot
feel or understand the feelings of others is not detached but indifferent. Such
individuals are unable to live an emotionally rich and fulfilling life due to
their indifference, and thus are unable to appreciate and enjoy the small wonders
and the simpler things life has to offer. Additionally, those who resort to
extreme indifference where nothing in the world can arouse a single hint of
emotion, where they are completely devoid of hope, as well as adopt the extremely
pessimistic view that all values are inherently baseless, and condemns
existence, find themselves on the further end of the indifference spectrum
known as nihilism. Nihilists not only believe that life is meaningless, but
also view other aspects of existence such as action and suffering, as empty and
senseless.
The process of detachment
is a long gradual one that like many other practices such as meditation, appear
to be simple in theory, but extremely challenging to adopt as a drill that is
followed diligently. It is the tightrope that stretches between
nihilism and as discussed, self-imposed slavery. This process shall be
thoroughly explored and outlined in three stages namely;
1.
Societal and material detachment
2.
Abstract detachment
3.
Detachment of the soul from the body
Societal
and material detachment
This process of
detachment is the first step and it involves the removal of all things and
concepts that are regarded as worldly and material, and quite often such
worldly possessions are linked and representative of the society and
communities that surround us. Firstly, one would ideally attempt to distance
themselves from all the material wealth, such as their luxuries, privileges,
personal achievements and everything that is linked with their career or
position in society. If this is done successfully, the individual would no
longer feel the pull towards achievement, wealth, fame, and social status, and
understand that such elements are not an inherent part of identity, and
treating it as such is a futile and detrimental approach.
Gradually, the individual
would develop an immunity to the raging torrent of ‘hustle culture’, and realize that true wealth lies in good health,
peace of mind and mindfulness, and not in the endless material highs often
chased by man. Such individuals would also grasp and adopt the ideal that the
ultimate goal, is not what should be glorified but, that the journey to reach
the goal, is what actually matters. This is due to the simple reason that the
journey as well as the experiences that come along its way, is what shapes
individuals and aids them in their growth, provided that they act with
awareness and an inextinguishable will to learn.
Next, individuals would
examine their resident community, and its members. This element of detachment
is one of the most challenging, as it includes people that are so close to the
extent that they appear to be an inseparable aspect of one’s identity. Such
people happen to be their parents, siblings, as well as those who are not blood
related, yet equally as closely knit as their family members, and those who
fall under the umbrella term ‘chosen family’, such as newly inducted family
members, friends, and pursued love interests. A majority are unable to fathom a
life without their family and friends in particular, and the inevitable loss that
accompanies such close knit relationships, are sufficient to completely
disintegrate, or dismantle our state of being.
Family and friends are an
integral part of our foundation, and are tightly woven into our identity, as
their absence causes voids that can never be filled, and possesses the capacity
to destabilize our state of being. The detachment of such closely knit
relationships, results in the realization that their closeness does not define
our identity, and that ultimately they too are fellow travelers in this journey
of life, who have their own story to write. Detaching yourself from them means
neither a lack of acknowledgement and appreciation for their presence, nor an
invalidation of their role. It simply means that you acknowledge that they
aren’t special, no matter how much love is shared, and that they don’t define you.
While this does not ease the pain of their absence, it provides an
understanding of their temporary existence, which makes us value them
graciously enough to let them go when the time is right, and not fall apart
when they do. It also eases the guilt and burden experienced when we make
difficult life choices, when we are able to understand that neither belongs to
the other, and that each is following their own path.
Finally, one would attempt
to distance themselves from other societal constructions such as nationality,
race, religion, gender, etc… They realize that none of the above factors are
concrete, absolute definitive elements that constitute facets of our identity,
and frankly that such facets cause more division, disharmony and prejudice,
rather than provide a sense of belonging and individuality. Such elements are
fragile concepts that society enforces to create a false sense of belonging.
Individuality is gained not by upholding such concepts, but by casting them off
and understanding that it transcends them, as humans are more than their
societal markers, their material wealth as well as their close knit family and
support systems.
Abstract
detachment
Once the individual is
able to shed their outer layer which consists of the societal connections and
worldly material, they attempt to distance themselves of the second layer of
detachment, which comprises of abstract ideals, that form the basis and cover
of one’s identity. This stage of detachment can also be referred to as the
removal of the ‘ideas of self’.
As stated on numerous
occasions, the concept of identity is a mental construction that is tightly
wrapped up in layers of abstract ideals. These layers of abstract ideals
usually comprise of facets such as belief, faiths, opinions, values, preferences
and ideas. This is even more challenging to let go, as most of us refuse to
compromise such concepts especially when it comes to beliefs and values, and
tend to latch onto such elements the way one would cling onto a canister of
oxygen.
Detaching oneself from
such abstract ideals, contrary to popular belief is not detrimental, and does
not deter individuals from experiencing growth and development. When we let go
of the idea of self, we create freedom and space to act and grow, as we don’t
have an identity that is so fragile to the extent that it requires safeguarding
and protection. Additionally, when such individuals are attacked, accused or
framed, they remain calm, nonchalant and do not lose their composure, due to
the simple reason that they have liberated themselves from the mental prison of abstract ideals, and
no longer feel the need to defend them, or to safeguard their reputation.
Detachment
of the soul from the body
The final stage of the
process of detachment, which is an absolute form of detachment, as it involves
succumbing to the notion that ‘the self’ simply
ceases to exist. This stage is also termed as the ‘removal of self’. It is the
realization that the body is a vehicle that a traveler is gifted with to voyage
the journey of life, and thus it is not an inherently definitive part of one’s
self. Individuals at this stage begin to comprehend the nature of the body, and
appreciate it for all the vital organs that make the body work, and do not see
any use in maintaining its outer appearance that is bound to deteriorate. They
understand that it’s the inner organs that matter, as they protect and enable
the working of the body, and not its outer appearances that make a difference
in its ability to function.
Such individuals who are
able to distance themselves from their body, have reached a high stage of
detachment, which makes them immune to all the body shaming, glamor, and
glorification, of body stereotypes, that are often perpetrated by our society,
and further enhanced through the use of social media.
Additionally, individuals
who manage to accomplish this state of detachment, and immunity, are able to
embark, and even reach a higher state of the above mentioned form of detachment,
namely the distancing of the soul from the body, which serves as its corporeal
from. Such individuals would not only be living a carefree, detached life, but
also gradually overcome their fear of death, as they would now perceive it as a
liberation of the soul from its corporeal structure, erasing a huge element of
anxiety that a majority suffer from.
As the process of
detachment has been explored as discussed, now one can comprehend what it means
to be a free individual. Individuals
who have mastered at least the first two stages of detachment, namely abstract,
societal and material, who are comfortable with being themselves, are free.
Being yourself in this context is not simply identifying one’s flaws and
positive qualities, while embracing the two. It doesn’t merely mean the
acceptance of oneself and conducting themselves accordingly. In this case,
individuals must feel comfortable being who they are, and that is being human -
that is being comfortable with the removal of all those layers, without clinging
onto identity, nationality, family and other aspects, and simply accepting that
one is nothing less than an animated corpse.
Contrary to popular
belief, humans have no purpose, and if detachment is a task that requires to be
classified, then yes, the purpose of all human beings is to embark upon the
process of detachment, and strip themselves of everything, including the layer,
which we ‘assume’ form the entirety
of our identity. It is to achieve the realization that what we have, is in fact not what
we have.
If we don’t have a
particular purpose, and we are not unique in our issues and identity, and if
our actions and experienced events lack cosmic significance when viewed in
relation to the bigger scheme of things, we might wonder what it is that we
have to be grateful for. A majority, when asked this question immediately state
that it’s their family, spouse, children, and occasionally a few go on to state
that it’s their friends and career that give them a reason to express gratitude
and continue living. This is quite a detrimental approach as such elements are extremely
fluid in nature, and can negatively impact our state of being if it meets with
an abrupt end. Ideally, when such a question is asked, the answer that should
automatically pop up is ‘our breath’.
What many fail to realize
is that once all those layers of detachment are shed, we are nothing but an
animated living body. The only thing that makes our living body different from
a corpse is our breath. For this very reason, our breath happens to be the only thing that we cannot live without.
Not our family, reputation, status, job or career. It doesn’t mean that one
should not be grateful for family and friends, but one should remember that
one’s breath is the priority, and
happens to be the very thing that allows us to experience such facets in our life,
and thus should be the thing that we
remain grateful for.
“Often in the endless
search for purpose and fulfillment in life, we tend to forget that our purpose
is to simply live and let go" - the hopeless pessimist
